Time to Just Be Me

Fig. 1 happy Mimi

The past year has been and interesting one, to say the least. Many good thing have happened: my band got steady gig, met some... interesting... people, found out I am to be an aunt, and I had an amazing first fund-raiser for Pin-ups in Paradise.

All this aside, I also got into an accident, got arrested (long story there), had a mini break down, had three deaths in two months time, and quit my job. Well, the last thing is actually very positive, but we'll get to that later.

Here I am, though, and I am happy. Happier than I have been in a loooooong while.

Fig. 2 amazing series of faces I did in
conjunction with Gemini Photography 

How is this possible? Because I am still free to be me.

I still get to create, I still get to make music, I still get to choose how I live, I still have the chance to do exactly what I want. The main difference is now I have the time to do it. No excuses. Shit or get off the pot.

The biggest surprise is... it's working. I have never felt more confident, more secure, or more successful.

Living MY Life

This isn't going to be a fancy post with lots of pictures or anything. This is just a post about things I need to voice and record in the off chance I forget how I feel right now. 

For the first time in a long time, I have control over me. It is an odd sensation because for so long I had to think about how my actions and decisions would affect someone else. Now, I only worry about how they will affect me. It's so raw and exposed and free. It's akin to dancing naked in the breeze. 

At first I was really hesitant about the new way my life was going. Could I do it? Was I capable of surviving this? Would I find happiness on my own? The answer surprised me: HELL YES.

I didn't know I could do it. I was so lost and scared. Now, though, I see it. I am more than capable of surviving: I am THRIVING and it is fantastic. I am doing well in so many aspects of my life all of a sudden. New found friends with amazing lives of their own fill my head with warm and fascinating and inspiring stories. They have all helped me be more attuned to the creative side I had put away for so long. 

My music has become less technically minded and more an expression of me. Anyone can sing a pretty note, but to convey raw emotion is such power.

My art will be so different now. Canvases that I had started and planned now I look at with a totally different end product in mind. 

My laugh is finally free. I smile. A lot. Since when? When I was little, my mother always told me to smile more. Hey, Mom, I'm smiling and I have been doing it a lot lately. I knew I was always a happy person. I just needed the right amount of light to grow and show my true colors. I am not living in some shadow anymore. I can feel the sun and it feels amazing.

What a Week!

I did 3 shows and did pretty well, if I do say so myself. I also did a mural at the Butterfly Farm and painted a bit. I'm exhausted. If that weren't enough, my car broke down today. I know that sounds bad instead of good, but hear me out. My car broke down so I had to walk to the Marriott (where the hubs works) to get his car to move my inventory out of my car. Well, usually this is easy as many people hitch on island. Today, not too much luck. And it rained.

The good part? I ate some genips off a tree, saw some iguanas and chickens, got some exercise (the hills here are brutal!), and took some time off. If my car hadn't died randomly, I would have just proceeded home to paint more. I have been wearing myself out a bit though, so it was nice to have a little time for me. I collected my thoughts, reworked my schedule in my head, and really felt quite happy by the time I got to the hotel. Odd how the universe knows when you need a break. Sure I could have been upset, but I am glad. I needed a break and was given one. I guess it is how you look at it.

I will post pictures of the mural as soon as I get my camera! I'm a dork and left it at the Butterfly Farm! I am really quite pleased with how it turned out. Nothing to fancy, but the butterflies are fantastic. I may be a few hours behind painting now, but am I truly ever going to be ahead? Not likely. In the end, it really is all perspective. I had a great day!

The Jury is Out...

Last night I went to apply for the Traveling Craft Show. It's a little show featuring a bunch of local artisans showing off their wares. They visit various hotels throughout each week giving people staying on island the opportunity to purchase something locally crafted and unique. I have to submit some of my wares for jury. All the artists and crafters get together and vote on whether or not I would be a valuable addition to the show.

Needles to say, I'm a bit nervous. She took a palm tree mini, an iguana bag, and a hibiscus/beach scene bag. She said she would get back to me Thursday morning. She seemed to really like my stuff and I do know some of the people in the show already so I think I stand a good chance. If I make it in, it would be a great way to get my stuff out there. They do 6 shows a week, two of which are at the Marriott so I could spend more time with the hubs! Plus, I could charge full retail. If I don't, I really have to get some more accounts. I have my fingers and toes crossed. So nervous! Wish me luck!

Success!

Two days ago, the hubs and I went around to various places to drop off and pique interest in my mini paintings and bags. Well, I had a few set aside for the Native Arts shop, but was really surprised by the reaction I got at Pirate's Chest. I was only going in to show them what I had and see if they were interested and what designs they would like. They took everything I had on me. I now have a lot of bags and minis to paint, but my black paint is being wacky! I need better black. I am so excited to be back in business!

YAY!

Getting Back Into the Groove

Since I came back to the VI, I had been in a bit of a funk. I really didn't want to do much except see my husband and sleep. I didn't get to see the hubs a whole lot because he has this issue. He's a workaholic. Not in a light sense either. He will work three 18 hour shifts in a row, read news online till 3 in the morning then go to work again at 7:45. Nuts. The vacation I took was just the thing to get me back into the swing of things.

I came back ready. Nick acquired me some studio space that I get to check out on Wednesday. I have a new account and old ones that need to be worked on as well. I have a lot to do! No more time for moping.

Yesterday, I painted. It felt fantastic. While most of the things I paint are not really my style of art, I make money producing things people buy so I am stuck painting palm trees. It doesn't bother me though, because it is still a composition. It is still making colors work. It is still putting a brush to canvas. My new account is the Pirate's Chest at Paradise Point. Since it has a piratey theme, I did tall ships, schooners, Caribbean style houses, and skulls. I loved doing the skulls. That is more me. A bit morbid and VERY sciencey. Do you see the light sourcing on those things? Super fun. The houses were fun as well because I can get really creative with them but the blocky design means I don't have to spend too much time on them. Time is important in production art because besides paying yourself a livable wage, you have to make the product affordable and still be able to buy the raw materials.

I'm going to do some bags today. Some more skulls perhaps. I have some sea critters I have to do for another shop as well. I already have a lot of different Caribbean themed designs. Those are easy! I need more pirate stuff!

What kind of pirate themed designs do you want to see?